The next chapter

I'm feeling a little down tonight. The question was brought up on my Mom's group about would you be a surrogate? Got me to thinking. While I would like to think that I could be a surrogate for somebody very deserving, I know that I won't be one, even if I wanted to, not sure mind you that I could distance myself enough anyway, but I'm sure I couldn't qualify even if I wanted to, since I am to the age you have to worry about Down's syndrome etc. My eggs are past their prime. lol

I also know that we are done, as John has had a vasectomy, and honestly we probably couldn't handle a third. I am very lucky to have the 2 I have, since he was dead set against a second, but the upcoming birth that one of the mom's in my group is approaching and another mom in the group is in her second trimester, leaves me thinking about all of wonderful aspects of being pregnant. I had a hard time with both pregnancies as far as m/s went, and yes, my labors were almost 19 hours for Jackson, and 15 hours for Elena, the actual pushing time was less than 5 minutes for each child. I loved being pregnant, loved the flutters, the kicks, hiccups, just the overall feeling that you were creating this life and the idea that all of those body parts are growing because of you, is just completely exhilirating. I was also the healthiest I have ever been for my pregnancies as well.

I'm entering a new chapter in my life, I'm done with pregnancies, my baby is becoming more of a toddler/child, and pyschologically I guess it can be a little tough. While I have a lot of new chapters opening in my life, I look forward to seeing my children grow, being done with diapers, etc, I still need I guess to mourn the prospects of me never being childbearing again.