It's time for an attitude adjustment

Tonight was a stressful evening and it showed in the way I treated my hubby and kids. After I hung up on hubby, mad about him working late as usual, it hit me. It's time for an adjustment in my attitude. I tend to be a very negative person by nature, but I truly want to and am working on being more positive. It's not easy, but it's important, so I keep chugging along.

Instead of being annoyed that hubby is working late as usual, I should be thankful that not only does he have a job, but that there is business to be done instead of none.

Instead of being annoyed that I am left to take care of the kids by myself after working all day, again, feeling like a single mom, I should be thankful that he will eventually come home, and that this crazy time shall pass.

Instead of being annoyed that my kids want to spend all of their time with me and I can't get anything done, I should be thankful that not only do I have two wonderful and adorable kids, but that they actually want to spend all of their time with me because they love me. That in time they won't want to hang with dear old mom, because I will embarrass and ruin their lives and I will be missing these days of adoring children.

Instead of feeling badly about myself because I don't look the way I want to look I should be thankful that I am alive, can see, hear, don't have any deformities and am relatively healthy.

Instead of feeling like everyone has it better than me, or that I am a failure, or putting myself down, I should be thankful that I have a husband who thinks I'm smart and sexy and loves me, children who adore me, a roof over my head, food in my tummy ( well actually wine in my tummy, but dinner will be in a minute, lol), a car that runs, my own business, things certainly could be worse. Overall, I have a good life. I mean what I say, and say what I mean, and I think I'm actually a pretty fun and cool chick. So I am happy for my life today, and try to focus on what I have instead of have not.

Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

Do you really think you can change who you are, what you think, etc, and actually keep those changes for the rest of your life, or that you gradually just slip back into your normal scheme of things? I've been working this year on being more positive, trying to adjust my attitude, appreciating what I have, etc, and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster. It seems I can do it for a few minutes, days, whatnot, but I can't keep it going for any long period of time. It's kind of like if drink water, but in your mind it tasted like wine. How do you just totally re-train your brain like that, without mind altering drugs? lol

So since I am not in the best of moods, and things have not been good, I will just quickly let you know what's been going on. Elena got Hand Foot Mouth Disease her FIRST week in daycare.

The new daycare does have a spot open for Jackson in the next couple of weeks, which is good, but scary, since I know Jackson will probably fight me on it and I hate for him to leave his good friends, but this is just something that we need to do. It will also be sad to say goodbye to some of the people for us at his old school, we tend to be loyal, and we genuinely like a few of the people there.

We found out Jackson didn't make it into the Walter Hill pre-K program. Apparently his speech isn't as good as I thought it was. There were only 3 spots and they said he didn't pass the speech portion and should look into a further evaluation. Aaargh!! I was really surprised since we think he speaks pretty well and he has such a huge vocabulary. Oh well, I suppose it just wasn't meant to be. It still stings though. I'm really taking this one hard.

I got a new tattoo on the one year anniversary of my fave cat's death. I got a paw print with an S in the middle of it. I put it on the nape of my neck, which is where Sebastian used to knead on my neck. I miss him and thought it would be a nice tribute. I was surprised that it hurt more than I thought, my previous two tattoos didn't hurt at all. The other thing that sucks is I'm going to have to have it re-done. He didn't get it all colored in dark enough, plus the S is going to need work. I might get the S done by somebody else and have him just do the black paw part. sigh

I got my refund back, which is good, but it's pretty well spent on bills, oh the fun, but it's necessary. Elena is becoming a Daddy's girl, which I had been hoping for, but now that it's a reality, it's a bit of a tough pill to swallow. When I pick her up from daycare, it's like she doesn't care at all, but when Daddy comes woo hoo it's a party. Stings, but it's true, be careful what you wish for. I'm having a bit of a hard time with bonding with her right now, our groove is a little off, and my emotions have been running very low. It'll get better, but it sure would be nice to already be in the better phase.

Jackson's a doll, he's just such a loving little guy, and thank goodness he's still a Mama's boy. What would I do without my little man?

So these are the happenings in my boring little life, and if you've made it this far, you're a true friend or you're just really bored with nothing to do. lol