The good, the bad, and the bunny

This month has just been a whirlwind. Elena went to Jackson's daycare for 2 days, which didn't go so well, but I finally found a daycare that had an opening that I liked. I was so relieved to not only find a good school, but the fact that they are squeezing her in, makes me very happy. They won't have an opening for Jackson until May, but at least this gives me a good opportunity to make sure I like the school before I move him. I really hope he will like it there. It seems like they concentrate on education a little more than at his current school.

Jackson got tested for the peer program at Walter Hill and I am praying that it went well. He apparently impressed some of the teachers, they even made a note of it on his form and wanted one of the woman who I suppose makes the decision to meet him. Please keep your fingers crossed. If he gets in, not only can I be assured that it's a good program and he will learn everything he needs to learn for Kindergarten, but he'll be at an actual school so he can get used to that, a close friend of ours is a teacher at the same school as well, so he can keep his eyes on him, but also saving $8,000 a year will be awesome!

So Elena had her first day at the new school, and apparently it went well, other than she didn't eat very well, and when John to come pick her up, she was eating her baby fruit snacks, and started choking. The teacher gave her a little heimlich and she was fine, just a little shaken. I'm so glad I wasn't there, I would have been freaked. I am REALLY hating this new schedule of working all week, and my little girl being gone! I'm hoping in the coming months, that I can change my schedule around a little and do more part-time work, and more kid time at home.

I'm still working on the positivity, but it's been a little tough. I am just in a real funk, and it just seems like so much in my life isn't going the way I want or planned, and it's a little discouraging. John's stressed and then I get stressed and it just isn't good sometimes. I said the most hateful thing to him today, and I feel bad that I did, but the worse part was I really meant it, at least at that moment. I tend to be one of those passionate people who lives in the moment and I have a hard time distinguishing from just a fight and hate. It's awful and I really need to work on it.

My Mom kept the kids Saturday night, so John and I had a date. We went to Olive Garden and I used my gift card I won at Bunco. It was good. I had a pomegranate martini and the Chicken Fontina. Pretty good, but I guess I am just spoiled by how good Marina's is. We went to go see Vantage Point after and it was a pretty good movie. It was just bizarre because John and I had just had a conversation about what do they do if a movie doesn't have an audience, do they still play it? Well, we went to a theater in Nashville that had hardly anybody there, and when we got there, we were a little late, so we thought the movie would have already started. Wrong. The movie wasn't even going, and the theater was EMPTY! So we sat there waiting for the movie to begin, which it didn't, so John had to go tell them to start it. It was so odd being the only people there. Of course John would have liked to go in the backrow for a little bit of romance, but I had eaten way too much at Olive Garden, lol. It was really nice to have some couple time, but I swear, when I don't have my kids, I feel like I'm missing a limb or something. We went to my Aunt's house on Easter Sunday to pick them up and I was just so thrilled to see them. I dressed Elena up in a beautiful little dress and even though she wouldn't cooperate for any really good pictures, John still got some that showed how adorable she looked. I'll have to get him to post some soon.

It was nice doing the egg hunt, and Elena is actually pretty good at finding the eggs, she's even better finding jelly beans, man she really likes jelly beans. lol It was just very nice.

The scariest day of my life

Today has officially been the scariest day of my life, and trust me I have had my share of scary days, but today I saw my life flash in front of my eyes! We were at the Smyrna park, which was PACKED, John, me, Jackson, Elena, my Mom, Aunt, and nephew. My Aunt and I had been talking about how I never lose sight of my kids, and she was telling me these horrible stories about attempted kidnappings. Anyway, so we were all playing and having fun. I had Elena, and I THOUGHT John was watching the boys, apparently my Mom had been watching the boys play hide and seek, so John thought she was watching them the whole time, and he was just watching them a bit. So he noticed he couldn't see Jackson, and then asked if I knew where he was, I totally freaked, we started searching the entire playground. I was holding Elena at the time, and was starting to really freak because my nephew said he didn't know where he was, they had been playing hide and seek. So I gave Elena to my Aunt, and we're frantically calling him, running around the whole playground, people are staring at me. I swear I have never been so afraid in my life!

This all happened in just a matter of probably a minute or two, and while I know some people probably wouldn't have been terrified, I am not used to just letting the kids go without watching them the whole time. I don't even feel comfortable letting Jackson go in CEC without me knowing where he is the whole time. I just saw my life flash in front of my eyes, never seeing him again, Elena being the only sibling, etc, I was just completely utterly horrified. I was afraid that maybe somebody taking him ( thanks Aunt Les for the horror stories, when I already worry enough) or even just him wandering off and getting lost somewhere. So he heard us calling, and came out from his hiding spot, I see John walking up with him, and I just run for him, hugging him with tears welling up in my eyes. It took me quite a few minutes to calm down, stop the tears, and collect myself. Maybe a little dramatic for some, but I honestly can't live my life without my children, it would kill me, or might as well, because I truly wouldn't have a reason for living. I had to send the kids off with my Mom and Aunt for a minute while John just held me trying to get me to calm down.

Right after this fiasco, John was holding me trying to calm me and we see a Mom chasing her one son, while holding the other son. He was running into the parking lot and I swear he was only like two feet away from getting hit. John and I are watching this like it's in slow motion and we scream " Stop". Fortunately the car saw him, just as they were about to hit him. It was just awful!!! So after all of this horror, I decided I had enough of a scare for one day, and we headed home.

On the way home, Jackson and I had another talk about strangers and what to do if a stranger tries to get him to go with him. We spent the whole ride talking about it, and I hope he remembers and practices what I taught him. So I am just feeling thankful for having both of my children safe at home.