Hello

Not much going on lately. I had a friend come over last week who helped me organize some of Elena's room. It looks much better, still need to work on her closet and tossing some stuff though. Next will be Jackson's room. After we were done, we got some pizza and just chatted for a few hours, it was lots of fun.

Friday I went to a friend's house for game night. Turned out to be fun, but I had a rough night, all the stress of work, John leaving this week and the news of my Aunt turned out to be a little more than I could handle. Oh well, we all have those kind of days, and I thank God for my dear friends who can forgive and forget.

I'm going to my Aunt's funeral this week, she's on my Dad's side of the family and while I wish I had been better about keeping in touch, it still stung more than I thought it would.

John's going to meet his Dad for a boys only hiking trip, I know Jackson will have a blast. They'll be coming later this week, and his Dad will be staying with us for the rest of the week. I'm so glad he can make it, the kids adore him and vice versa. I'm so thankful that he makes such an effort to be involved.

Sunshine

Grrr, I had a long post typed out and tried to publish and lost the whole thing. So here's a quick synopsis. Work's busy, Elena's getting over a cold, Jackson's doing really well in speech class, I dyed my hair black and like it. Still have the lizard, wish we didn't. Disney's a no go for now, wish we were going, but my Mom can't make it yet. Spring Break is coming up and hopefully to make up for the Disney disapointment, DIL is coming to town and the guys will go to LBL. Us girls will hang here and do girlie things.

Went to the movies with a friend last night. We saw Dear John, and while it was pretty good, the ending left a little to be desired. We still had a great time though. I need to try to start making more time for friends, especially those that I don't see often.

This weekend, hopefully the weather will stay good and we can play outside, I have cleaning to do, playing on my new cricut ( which I'm hoping to learn how to be a little more crafty) and shopping.

Blah

So I'm not doing so good on updating like I had planned, not feeling much like a new me, although I have been trying to do lots of organizing, but it's so completely foreign to me, and I have no idea what I'm doing that it just further frustrates and aggravates me.

I'm feeling very bitter right now, hurt by so many things lately, that I need to remember to shake it off and keep moving, but that doesn't always seem so easy. No, this isn't suicide talk or anything crazy like that, it's just hard, hard to breathe, hard to not feel bitter, hard to keep trying when it feels like you're just going backwards. Sucks, but maybe it's the seasonal stuff ( all this ugly weather) that just further amplifies all of it. So I'm having a pity party, and maybe after the party, I'll feel better by releasing it all and things will be great. Hopeful....

New Year

It's a new year, and I'm hoping a new and better me. If you follow this blog, please check back often, as I will be updating more frequently. This year, I am up for making some improvements ( trying to get organized, lose more weight, being less judgemental, more forgiving, etc), but I also want to appreciate the things I can't change. This means accepting people for who they are and what they do, instead of what I feel they should do. It also means accepting myself as well. I'm too critical and set impossible standards. We're all only human, with errors and flaws .

I'd like to learn to let things go, forgive more easily, and laugh more often. We're all so stressed and frankly I feel so frazzled , that I want things to be simpler. One of my resolutions this year was to slow down. My life is so hectic, so packed full of fun things for the kids to do, but I need to learn to slow it down and appreciate the small things. That said, I realized though that I like the chaos in my life. Yes, it's contradictory, but it's what I know. So somehow I guess I need to find a balance. Between hectic and crazy, and slow and steady. Wish me luck on that one. lol

Last year was a rough one. The shop has suffered, Jackson's going through an ultra clingy phase, Elena refuses to do much in the way of education, or the potty. She's a head strong girl, but you know, it will come in due time. My marriage has had a tough year, but I'm praying for a much better year, and I know that through time we have our ups and downs, but after over 20 yrs, we're still here and for the most part on the same page. I broke my foot this past year, have way too many medical bills, I could go on and on. BUT, I won't. Because it's a new year, a fresh start, and I'm looking for a bright new chapter to my life.

I"m looking forward to fun times with my family and friends, getting closer to new friends, losing more weight and looking and feeling great, a family vacation this year, projects on the house, learning how to organize, and making more time for my relationship w/ God.

Christmas

I can't believe it's been a month since I posted. Christmas Eve we went to a friend's house and it was nice to hang out , have a good meal, and we did Dirty Santa. Later that evening it took most of the night to wrap all the kids' gifts. Next year, I will be more organized and get stuff done early., Yep, it's gonna happen. lol

Christmas Day the kids were kind enough to let us sleep in a bit, then we all unwrapped the gifts, they were so excited. They got way too much, like usual, but it was nice to see them so excited. Then we headed to Dickson to be with the family, was a nice laid back evening.

We're off work officially until after New Year's, and John's Dad will be visiting in a few days. The kids are soooo excited! I also want to take the time while we're off to work more consistently on the potty training. I feel bad that E's still not trained, but it's probably more my fault since I haven't been consistent with her, because we're always so busy. Must work harder on this one, need to start doing less.