So much stuff so little time

Life has been even more chaotic than usual.  There have been lots of changes, some for the better, some for the worse, but I guess that's what life is all about.

I've never really been one for change, I like a set pattern, it's help w/ my instabiltiy, the chaos of my life, etc.  But the past few months have been all about change.  I'm not going to lie, things haven't been good.  I've had some eye opening moments, some good some bad, I've had new friends come into my life, and some leave.

I guess it's just a learning experience, and the saying that when one door closes another one opens is true.  Unfortunately a lot of this change has caused me to lose my naivete.

 I now have trust issues, and I've been deeply hurt by someone that I love so much.  Sometimes I just want to remove myself from all situations, I'm tired of feeling like the villain.  I feel like I give all I can to help those I care about,  feel like I'm a good person overall, but I think the past just continues to haunt, no matter how much I've changed or try to change, I just get dragged down all over again. 

Wow, enough of this dark stuff, I'm tired of it.  So on to talking about happier and better things. :)  The kids' birthday parties are this weekend.  Yes, I'm doing both in one day, and we're actually going to try the home party thing out this year.  Yikes!  Not sure if it's a good idea but we'll see.

Elena is having a Princess dress up party, complete w/ lots of dresses, shoes, tiaras, jewelry and makeup.  Should be lots of fun!  Then Jackson is having a Star Wars party, complete w/ everyone getting Star Wars action figures, light sabres and stickers.  I hope the force is with me that day, because his will be a slumber party.  Should be an interesting weekend, lol.

PS So glad that Christmas is right around the corner, I love the holidays and this year should be even better now that I am getting closer to the whole what Christmas is really about.