Back to craziness

Well my nice smooth weekend of fun is over, and the insanity, fits, crying and tantrums is back in full throttle and no I'm not talking about me, but I guess I'm guilty of a few of the above mentioned, lol. So tonight I am taking a minute to remember why I am blessed.

I have 2 incredibly adorable kids, who are for the most part, very well mannered, polite, and amaze me daily.

A delicious martini that I just finished.

A new tv season, including Amazing Race , Chuck, and one of my faves ( Pushing Daisies) which have started and or are just about to start.

My two Tivos which I don't know how I lived without them.

A hubby who loves me regardless of my age, size, hair length, color, etc. He's a good man, usually. lol

Seeing my kids more now and the fact that they love their new schools, makes Mama very happy.

The crisp fall air. I love Fall and Spring, and I am oh so happy to be done with summer.

Good friends, which might be few and far between, but I'd rather a few great friends than lots of acquantinces.

A good hot bath, with music , candles and a nice bottle of wine.

If you're reading this, please take the time to think of your blessings. It's so easy to get caught up in all the craziness of our busy hectic lives, that it's nice to just take a breath and remember what is really important.

Things are good

I was in limbo as to if I wanted my Mom to watch the kids after her reaction wasn't what I had hoped for, and so what did I do when I called her Saturday? Was I an adult and let her take the kids if she felt good? Oh no, I decided to start a fight. I called and she was in a good mood, felt great and ready to keep the kids. I told her I didn't think so, and then proceeded to let all the annoyances I've been feeling toward her come bursting forth. Yep, I just couldn't help myself. I'll spare details, but it wasn't good, and I made some awful threats. I swear I just don't know what is wrong with me sometimes. Of course, later the urge to do the "right thing" overcame me, as it always does, dang my conscience, and I called her to apologize and said she could take the kids. Why oh why do they love going to her house so much??? I hate it there. I've always wanted to leave home for as long as I could remember. I never fit in, it's almost like I just can't breathe there.

So I rush to get the kids packed, we go to Nashville to watch the Preds practice and then meet my Mom. I do have to give my Mom credit for one thing, although this has also driven me nuts many times about her, she has the ability to basically forget an argument almost immediately. I certainly didn't get that trait from her, as I am a sit and stew, holding a grudge much longer than I should. So I see her and am nice to her, and what had she done? She had bought the kids some clothes from a consignment sale, and not only did she buy them stuff, she actually WASHED everything that morning for me so that I wouldn't have more laundry than I already have. Made me feel like a total heel!!! Now I realize it sounds like my Mom is a saint, and trust me, she isn't. She was a horrible Mom to me, but she has gotten better through the years though, we just have always had issues with one another. But on that morning, it did make me appreciate some of the wonderful things she does.

So hubby and I went to the Pottery place to do a mosaic picture for her birthday next week, and it took forever, but I am hoping it comes out pretty. I can't wait to see it!!! We then went to Red Lobster to eat, it was delicious!!! Then went back to our shop for a little one on one, and then to the movies to see Tropic Thunder. It was pretty funny, and I have to admit, Tom Cruise did steal the show, even though he had a bit part, it was hysterical! We slept in a little this morning, had a nice leisurely morning, and maybe we'll go to the shop today for a bit, to try to get more of the place kid friendly so the kids can have a better time when I take them there after MDO.

It's been a wonderful weekend, and I'm so glad hubby and I have had a chance to reconnect. It's sometimes very hard to do that when you see the person 24/7 at work, home, etc, and then add 2 kids to the mix while you're trying to work, it gets a little hectic. I can't believe we've been together for almost 19 years!!!

We made it through the week

Well, we made it through our first week of part-time care, and I have to say, so far so good. I love being able to see the kids more, and they seem to really love their new schools. I know it will get much tougher when work gets busier, but for now, I am happy to have them around.

I'm feeling much better, and Elena is feeling better, but I am still so drained right now, and I seem to be losing my hair. I normally shed quite a bit anyway, but this is more than normal. I hope it's not a serious health issue so I guess I will keep watching to see if it doesn't get better. I'm hoping the constant fatigue is just me trying to get over all of this crud, and the lack of sleep I've been deprived of for so long.

I've been in a pretty good mood this week, although today I am in a foul mood. I'm frustrated and fed up with so much right now, and hope that this too, will go away in a day or two. I'm hoping to go to the Pottery place tomorrowto work on my Mother's birthday gift, and I need to get some work done this weekend at the shop too. I guess the weekend will be gone before I know it.

Will I ever learn?

Why do I keep doing this to myself? My Mom has been talking about wanting to see the kids, so this morning I get the bright idea to call her and see if she would like to watch the kids overnight tomorrow. It would give her and the kids a chance to visit for a while, and hubby and I could have a well deserved night off since we've been working so hard, sickness, etc. What's her reaction? Oh she needs to check with her hubby and make sure it's okay. Okay, I would have much preferred " gee, I'd love to see the kids, that sounds great!", but okay whatever. So I talk to her later this evening, she talked to her hubby, and he says it's fine with him, well guess what her answer is " can I get back with you tomorrow morning, and see if I feel okay?" First of all, I have to be in Nashville early tomorrow, plus if the kids are going to go, I have lots of packing to do.

Now I know my Mother has health issues, and you know in reality, her answer SHOULD be just fine, and I could let it go, BUT this is the same Mother who when her other daughter wants her to babysit, which is at least once usually a couple of times a week, and she doesn't even usually asks her, she just tells her she needs her to watch the kids, and you know what, she does it. EVERY time!! I usually only ask my Mom to watch the kids once every 4-8 weeks or so. I am just so tired of this. One of the reasons my Mom is so tired and doesn't feel good is because she's always watching my sister's kids. grrrr

So my dilemna is, should I just suck it up and if she decides she wants to watch the kids, let her, when I know it would make my kids oh so happy, or go with my first instinct ( which isn't a nice idea, and makes me look like a spoiled brat) and just tell her forget it? I could try this method and be nice about it, although knowing me, we would get into a big argument how I feel my kids are not getting the same treatment as my niece and nephew, etc.

I know I should just let it go, but I see my kids going through the same crap that I went through as a child, feeling like they aren't good enough, and the preferential treatment to somebody else. It's not a good feeling, and to top it off, my kids are much better behaved than my sister's kids who wear her out so much, that she hardly has the energy for my kids.

I keep telling myself, that I won't ask her to watch them again, that when she wants to see them, I will say no, but I know my kids for some strange reason, love to go to visit her, and I want to see them happy. sigh.....

Made it

FIL came into town Thursday and the visit was short but sweet. I feel bad since the past 3 times he's come, both Elena and I have been sick, and knock on wood, Elena and Jackson too for that matter, tend to be fairly healthy kids. I told him he makes us sick, since we've been sick every time he's come this year. I felt bad though since Elena wasn't at her best, and I wish he could have seen how she normally acts. She was still adorable, but she just didn't feel good. She didn't sparkle like she normally does, my girl is a total babydoll, except for the screaming banshee fits. lol Oh and to make matters worse, I found out he's sick now too. I feel rotten.

We've made it through the first days of both MDO's. It's been quite the emotional rollercoaster, as the first MDO hubby informed me he didn't like , the first day he picked the kids up. Made me feel awful, since I am the one who has to call, do the interviewing and picking the schools since he is so busy. Anyway, I was all upset about his disapproval, but I'm going to see how things go. The kids seem to like the schools, especially the one that John hates, but the kids seems to really like them. As long as my kids are happy, that makes Mommy happy. If I need to work a little harder on teaching them more educational things on my own time, then so be it.

Elena and I are starting to finally feel better, but man, I am so drained lately. I hope it's just the lack of sleep and being ill. I'm used to running full speed, on no sleep, so this is tough to be feeling tired by 8 or 9. So not my style.

Holy crap!!! I got a call, well John did, I wasn't home, about my 20 year high school reunion. I swear I don't feel that old, well for the most part. It's crazy that I've been out of school that long. I guess I need to go, since I skipped my 10, but I need to start working on looking better physically so I can feel better about myself. I tell you, I must be getting old, because I am really starting to worry some about my health. I have little panic attacks sometimes about the fact that I am old enough to have a heart attack, etc. Frightening I tell you.

I had a weird dream yesterday about finding out I was pregnant. Would be nice if true, but really I don't think we could swing it. I'm very lucky to have the two I have, as hubby was adamant about only wanting one.

This week has flown by, and I'm still feeling a little off key, hopefully once I am fully well, I will feel back to normal, who knows? I'm so far loving my new schedule, I adore my kids, and hey, I haven't killed my hubby yet, so things are good. LOL