A year of reflection

So 2008 is almost officially over and I thought I would sit back and think about what the year has held. It was a difficult year to say the least, but I made it through and now I have a brand new year to look forward to. A fresh start, yes, I am looking forward to that indeed. Anyway, this year we saw many new schools for the kids, a new schedule for me at work, new health issues, a Presidential election that the candidate I voted for ACTUALLY won, some good friendships, loss of friendships/relationships, a new found philosophy for me, ups and downs in my marriage and children, but you know, it's okay.

Although I had lots of bad this year, there has also been lots of good. I am blessed with 2 beautiful and wonderful children, who yes, are trying to drive me even crazier, but they are such a blessing. A hubby who is usually pretty supportive, and it amazes me how he's still so attracted to me after all of these years. I hope I never have to live my life without him or my kids. I'm trying to work on helping myself as well this year. I guess I am going through a mid-life crisis, but at least I am still here and able to go through it. I'm looking forward to a fresh start, a year where the possibilities are endless. A year that hopefully things will get better, for the economy, for the country, for my friends, family and me. Goodbye 2008, it's been interesting.

???

What the heck was I thinking by offering to have Christmas here, with my MIL and sister in law, and actually cook a holiday meal??? First of all the house is filled with WAY too many toys and boxes from the kids birthday party. Definitely need to go through all of their old things and donate stuff. Now on to the cooking part. WTH was I thinking??? I have NEVER cooked a holiday meal, the closest thing was I bought a pre-made tofurkey and cooked it in the oven. I've never even made homemade mashed potatoes. I'm the person people ask to bring the drinks or possibly rolls. I am in some deep doo-doo here I tell ya. I'd like to make a ham, and I would LOVE to learn how to make mashed potatoes with my grandmother's gravy recipe, but it took my Mom years to perfect the gravy recipe, I hardly think a novice like me could even come close to duplicating it this year. I guess I will be searching online to learn how to cook next week, unless I totally lose my confidence and break down and order pizza. It's a possibility. yikes!!!

Whatever

Yay, the birthday party is officially over, and now I can concentrate on the holidays!! The party went so good I am thrilled!!! I spent the whole party trying to take pics, video, introduce myself to parents and talk to family and friends that I never even got to bounce. The kids had a blast, my nephew wants his party there and my Mom even commented how it was the best children's party she had ever been to. Wow, that makes me feel good! I went overboard, but I really wanted all of the kids to have a good time, and since this is probably going to be the last "shared" party between the kids, I wanted it to be great. Everything went really well other than one of the coordinators that I wasn't too impressed with. I would highly recommend Bounce U to anyone. They made it very easy and organized and the place was clean and fun. Woo hoo!!

Not sure if it's because of the fact that I am about to start my period or maybe I just need to up the dosage on my meds, but this week has had me feeling blue. I was supposed to go to the dr last week, in which I think he was going to up the dosage on my meds, but I had to cancel because I had a dentist appointment too that week, and I had already rescheduled that once, so I guess in the next week or two I will try to make it back and see if I need to up it. I swear it is next to impossible to work full time, take the kids part time to work, and get their well checkups ( which are due next week) and get my dr's appointments ( dental, health, etc) all done, errands, housecleaning, grocery shopping, etc. It's just all too much sometimes and the kids will be coming to work with me even more after this month. It just leaves me feeling like a total failure on all accounts. I know I beat myself up too much, but I'm really struggling and I just feel like the lines are so blurred since I am technically a working mom but still kind of SAHM since I have the kids with me at work most of the time too. I'm just not that organized or good enough to do all of this. My life is just so literally and figurately a mess I just don't have a clue.

Not trying to do a pity party, not sure who is even reading this right now, sometimes I swear I feel as if I am just talking to myself, which I happen to do quite a bit, lol. I'm really hoping this is just the hormones of my impending time of the month, because I am down and annoyed also. Some people can be so nice and really make you feel like things are good in the world and others just annoy and disappoint.

Welcome home

We're back from Memphis and the trip was really fun. We went to the zoo for the light display and Santa Friday night. Elena wouldn't sit on Santa's lap, which is odd since at the mall she had no problems. Saturday morning we tried to go to the Peabody to see the ducks and they had most of the roads blocked for a marathon. We couldn't get there and it was taking so long we gave up, darn healthy people. lol We went to the zoo, and it was awesome! MUCH better than the Nashville one and it's cheaper, go figure. Went to the Peabody for a few minutes, it was crazy packed and a nice lady in front of me held Jackson up so he could see the ducks, I had to view them through a camcorder in front of me. Poor Elena was asleep in the car. Went to the Children's museum Sunday and it was okay, not as good as Discovery Center here. Met a friend of John's midway back home. He seemed nice and it made me feel good when John told me the guy was commenting on how John " married up".

Trying to get caught up at work and doing birthday party plans. Next year I am going to need reminding to do "small" birthday party. This one is getting a little out of control and I apparently am at "max capacity" for the bounce party, so while I'm sad that some of Jackson's best friends can't make it, I guess that's a good thing. I spent a small fortune at Party City today for goody bags, which grumpy hubby said that kids don't need one when I'm spending so much for the bounce stuff, but he's a scrooge. I really hope the kids have a great time, it's what all the effort is for anyway. I wanted a big turnout for Jackson's sake, as he is all about having lots of people around, I don't have any idea where he got that from as I am almost the exact opposite. I've got a huge cookie cake and LOTS of cupcakes ordered. I'm frustrated that it was so hard to find Star Wars, but with a little creativity I will make it work.

Things are going pretty well here. Being medicated apparently suits me. I hate that I need it, but it definitely makes me more mellow and "even tempered". Things that normally would have sent me in a crying fit or a fit of rage, now are just minor annoyances. Yeah I still get aggravated, depressed, etc, but I feel more "normal". It's taken a little bit of adjusting to get used to that. Weird.

Packed and ready to go

I'm quite impressed that we are packed ( for the most part except for last minute things) and ready to go. We have a Preds game tomorrow night, then it's off to my Mom's, then Memphis. I hope we have a great time! I can't believe my little man is going to be 5!!! Where does the time go? We're meeting John's Dad and Step Mom and plan to hit the zoo, children's museum, planetarium, and me and my SMIL will hit Graceland. I mean really , how can I go to Memphis and not go. Yes, it will be tacky, but I used to absolutely love Elvis, and I think it will be fun.

Things are going relatively well, kids are good, we're good, ups and downs yes, but overall, not much for complaint. I'm just looking forward to a little break and having the family do some fun stuff.