The highs and lows

So what's new with me? I went to the dr, only to once again find out that I am supposedly fine. Apparently I am having panic attacks, which feel like heart attacks. Yay!! I am on some medication, and am hoping that it does the trick. Do I like to admit that apparently yes I am crazy, crazier than I originally thought? Nope, but I'm always honest, so there ya go. I'm hoping that anxiety is the cause and not actual heart issues. Crazy I guess is better than being physically sick I suppose. I guess all the crap that is going on in my life is just really catching up with me.

My sis and I aren't talking and probably won't for a long long time, my hubby forgot our dating anniversary and my kids are getting out of control. Things have gotten pretty crazy and I'm hoping that they get better. I realize things could get so much worse, so I am still trying to count my blessings.

I took the kids to Sesame Street today and we all had a good time. They were very good, and I am so thankful when they are good, and I melt when they are so sweet and loving to each other. I wish hubby would have gone with me, but that isn't his sort of thing. Hubby surprised me tonight with some bath goodies and a new CD I've been wanting. Yes, he's trying to make up for the anniversary debacle. I know he remembered Sunday that it was coming up, but by Wednesday his days were all mixed up, and it just made me mad. Oh and I forgot to mention he bought me self help books for the anniversary gifts. Nothing to make up for a major mistake than books to let me know how screwed up I am. Oh and I got a self help Christian book from my Aunt, yep, everyone apparently thinks I need lots of help. yahoo. Anyway, back to the good stuff. He's going to run me a nice bath tonight and massage and exfoliate my tootsies. I'm glad he's starting to try to make ammends, because I really do love him. I've always known he was the one, and I've always seen us as becoming this cute little old couple still very much in love, like his grandparents were. I can't envision my life without him, nor would I want to. I love my little family that we've made together and we've been through so much, I hope I never want to give up. Good night, I'm off to the tub.